"Isn't that nice." "Be nice to your sister!" "Nicely put!"
There's nothing wrong with "Nice." But check out how different the above statements feel from these ones:
"That was so kind of you." "I appreciate your kindness." "A random act of kindness."
Do you feel it?
I think, at the very least, niceness, or "being polite" is a beneficial way to approach life, like 89% of the time (I have nothing against well-placed anger). But NICENESS, when we simmer it down to its bones, is quite surface and often for the benefit of others thinking we are good. KINDNESS, on the other hand, equally cares for your well-being, and my own.
Showing KINDNESS is the extra. Kindness is the soothing touch. Kindness is the noticing, and the being present.
Nice is fine, and Kind is different than nice. Kind is the empathy. Kind is the genuine. Kind comes from selflessness AND self-awareness.
Here are some analogies I've come up with about NICE vs. KIND:
NICE = starched white cotton sheets
KIND = soft flannel sheets with a weighted comforter and slippers by the bed
NICE = offering up your seat on the bus
KIND = sitting next to someone who looks lonely
NICE = "Let me know if you need anything!"
KIND = "I know it hard right now, so I'm showing up on your doorstep with no expectations, to just offer my presence."
Is there another situation you could add to the list?
Who has shown you kindness recently? Have you shown it to yourself?
by Emily Nielsen
"I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition."
All posts are copyright ©Emily Nielsen