Do you ever wish you could go back in time and cup your little self gently around the cheeks, have her look into your wizened eyes? Do you ever want to hug her, because only you know the type of embrace she needed but didn’t know how to ask for? I often see posts asking, “What 3 words would you tell your younger self?” My younger self would be *freaked out* to see older Me standing before her, and I know she’d not be keen to accept advice from some kind of know-it-all. She’s wary. She just wants to feel seen, understood, right where she’s at. I could tell her that longing has served her. She will one day be able to feel the shards and caresses of emotions from every corner of the room. I would tell her to honor that sensitivity, to trust that desire for comfort and good. I would ask her to trust her heart, and not believe anyone who hints that her concerns are too far-fetched. I would tell her to go ahead and cry, and to continue to write it all down (but maybe to hide her words better; privacy is often precious for sowing lessons worth revisiting.) I’d tell her that yeah, you do have gifts. Your silliness matters. It’s okay to be a goof. Being mortified has its place, and certainly doesn’t separate you from the pack (they’re just as awkward as you are.) I’d understand her longing to rest, wholly assured in her place in a mad world. If I only had three words to give her? You. Are. Enough.
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My daughters and I went sledding today. Hours later, I received the news that a dear friend experienced the loss of her own mother. Gratitude is a daily practice for me, and I can certainly find minuscule things for which to be grateful at any moment.
But sometimes there are reasons I allow gratitude to surge into every cell, bowl me over, and bring me to my knees. Today I am grateful for motherhood, sisterhood... and the forms they take that are not familial. Today I am grateful for opportunities to mother, be mothered, to act as a sisters, to witness sisterhood, to connect on levels seen and unseen, to find bravery and peace among it all. When we rest, we receive clarity. It’s so easy to feel we need to get caught up in the news cycle, the concerns of the world, the righteous wellbeing of others. When we allow ourselves to pause, step away, and notice.... we can achieve a sense of sincere clarity that comes from an ease in our mindsets.
When we take care of ourselves, we are better able to take care of the people who rely on us. When we approach our duties from a sense of clarity and calm, everyone benefits. It’s what’s known as the “oxygen mask theory:” it is often necessary for us to take care of our own well-being - to put on our oxygen mask first - in order to better be present for others. The Danish have a word called “hygge.” Pronounced hyoo-ga, it’s a term that means feeling cozy, connected, warm, and easily enjoying the good things in life. It’s a way to stay connected with everyday simplicity... and with our most at-ease selves. We can achieve hygge in many different ways, but one way that I like to touch base with it (I am Danish, after all 😉) is with a simple meditation that involves breathing and easy chanting. At my virtual Stress Less playshop on January 19, we'll learn ways to quiet our minds, soften our body tension, and allow ourselves some precious, uninterrupted time in a state of Rest. Together, we'll practice methods of
Designate some invaluable time for yourself... and see what happens when you invite a deliberate sense of peace and ease into your life. Some say that the falling autumn leaves are a good reminder for us to let dead things go. I say baring our bareness allows us to let authentic things in. May we choose what feels right when we are at our most vulnerable.
{art by me} |
by Emily Nielsen"I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition." All posts are copyright ©Emily Nielsen
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