Wherein a client laments...
"...I hate my body, I hate my habits that I've re-adopted, I have lost muscle. I lack motivation, and so I just tailspin into this spiral of yucky and unhealthy thoughts and actions. I don't want to go to the studio because I am ashamed of what I've lost. I am disappointed in myself. It's hard for me to even look in the mirror right now. I know that's not how you see me... but it's how I see myself. ..."
And I respond...
Let me tell you about my mom’s deviled eggs.
My mom is renowned for her deviled egg recipe. People request that she make them for parties. I’ve literally seen my husband eat six of them in under 50 seconds.
But I hate deviled eggs with the force of a thousand poison, angry, well….. devils.
I hate deviled eggs. I haaaaaaate them. To me, deviled eggs are absolutely worthless, unless your goal for the day is to emit rancid farts that might cause an argument with your significant other.
No offense, Mom.
But the thing about me hating deviled eggs is that, if I’m presented with a specially-molded plate of the glistening, sickly ovals of puke-smelling offensiveness, I can walk away.
I can say, No thank you! And that’s it.
My heart can go on beating its merry little rhythm. No deviled eggs for me, tra-la-la.
But it’s different when it comes to your body.
You certainly can’t hold up your overworked hand and say to your body, “Oh, no thank you. Not today.”
Your body is kind of…. There. For your whole entire life.
Now, I’m not going to strap on my woo-woo fairy wings and say “Just LOVE your body, silly!”
I’m not going to say that, because you can’t flip that switch so easily.
(I mean, could you imagine me just deciding that I’ve been mistaken about deviled eggs all this time and one day I’m all – geez, my MINDSET HAS BEEN ALL WRONG! And that’s just over a stupid, unnecessary food item.)
No, your body is necessary. And, at the very least, even if you don’t LOVE your body right now, you must not hate it.
Hate speech – hate thoughts – to and about your body can be as detrimental as the other hate speech, and no, I’m not being hyperbolic.
Hate won’t solve the problem of how you feel in your body right now. Hate will only make you sadder.
I promise that my woo-woo wings are packed away… but can you pretend with me for a minute that you are not your body?
That you are Annathe Amazing, smart and brave and kind and sensitive and soulful and wise and nurturing and tuned in to the deep mysteries of the world?
And that your body is just your vehicle?
Because it is. Your two feet unfailingly plant themselves on your floor each morning and carry you to your babies, your backyard, your grocery store. Your lungs take in and release the air that’s all around you and your veins continually pump your lifeblood. Your eyes and ears and all your other senses keep you alert and safe and in touch with the energies bombarding you constantly.
And your vehicle will ALWAYS run more smoothly when you nurture it.
And you’ll always FEEL better in your vehicle if you treat it with respect.
But sometimes Life gets in the way first, and our vehicles are often the last item on our care list.
And it’s surprisingly easy to keep neglecting the vehicle, because IT STILL ACTUALLY DOES ITS JOB and in the meantime there are literally other people on this earth who DEPEND ON YOU FOR THEIR SURVIVAL.
But then you start to notice that something doesn’t feel right. There’s a stickiness here and a creak there and fuuuuuuck I can’t button my pants.
So what then?
That’s where you are.
And you’re at that crucial, and desperate, and heart-breaking point and you’re like, “This is not my beautiful house! ….. My god, what have I done?!” (Gratuitous Talking Heads reference.)
And this space is kind of awesome, because you’re at a place where you can say, “Fuck it, let’s just see how low I can run this damn thing into the ground.” OR, you can say, “Aw, Body, I’m sorry. I’m here now. I’m here for you. Here, have some water. Have all the water. And then, I’m going to take you out for a walk.”
And then after your body gets some water and a walk, you’ll feel a little better. And you’ll have some more water and you’ll go on a longer walk. And then you’ll lift some weights. And then you’ll eat an entire clean meal. And then you’ll start to feel renewed energy, and you’ll realize that it’s simply NOT WORTH NEGLECTING YOUR VEHICLE!
Because you want to FEEL GOOD and FEEL WELL and you, Anna the Amazing, DESERVE all of that.
You deserve to feel good.
It’s hard when we are in a space of hate.
So, quick – go lube up your creaks with some water.
And then, for the love, take a nap.
And when you wake up, lube up your joints with some movement. Put on some lipstick. Play your favorite song and sing along at the top of your lungs. Make your favorite meal and invite your friends over to share it with you.
As long as it’s not devilied eggs, I’ll be there.
(….. and soon, you’ll love you, too.)
(* name has been changed to protect the awesome)
by Emily Nielsen
"I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition."
All posts are copyright ©Emily Nielsen